Can't Forget Him

Gosh, this is SO hard to talk about, but I need to get it out of my system.
I mean I'm practically the one that let this relationship go away. If I had just walked towards him and talked it out with him I would KNOW that he moved away.
But I had to find out on my own and I had to determine, by MYSELF, if we were through.
Of course I was hella hurt and crying over the situation cause it felt like I loved him more than any other guy.
I tired to move on and even went out with another guy, but even then he was still on my mind.
I was hoping that he was just gonna go away for a short while and that he would come back. That was stupid of me since I got more hurt later on.
I mean what the hell was going on with me? Thinking everything was fine between us. I hella regret it. That I passed the opportunity of keeping this relationship alive and now it's all gone.
It's been 8 months since he left and our relationship ended. Every now and then I still think about my mistake and think what would happen if I ACTUALLY tried to talk with him. =/
He didn't even say good-bye to me when he KNEW he was leaving. I at least wanted a last hug from him.
God, it's so stupid. He's probably moved on and gone with another girl, but I can't forget him.
Even if I try my hardest he'll still be the one that cared for me even before we went out.
Now I wonder if he just went out with me because he wanted to give me a chance before he left or did he actually like me. Cause I know I gave it my all in this relationship. Except that part. =/
I wish I can go back in time or somes, but you can't change what's already happened. D:
I usually think that things happen for a reason, but what's the reason for this? I hated him for leaving me, but everyone could see that I still thought about him.
I'm always hoping that I bump into him when I go out, but that's unlikely. I end up crying if I think about it too much cause I need to just let everything go...
I know there's plenty of other guys, but I thought me and him would last 4ever.
I've been through this situation and learned from it. I just hope I can do better in my next relationship. (=